Missed Carriage by: Sean Vinson ***FEATURE***

My Jade..

"A smooth caramel complexion..

Almond eyes, small in size..

Gorgeous smile..

The mind of an intellectual coupled with the passion of an poet inspired.."

This.. was my imagined architecture of your uncompromised structure that was to be in company within 9 months..

I dreamed of the nights when the slow creeking of my bedroom door

Would signal your otherwise silent presence

Maneuvering under the veil of your favorite blanky across the floor in search of refuge from the Boogeyman's reach..

Maybe I did get ahead of myself by falling behind the lines at Walmart

Collecting a full shopping cart for the "Back to School" sale..

I figured I'd get your Crayola half-price,

That way, your classmates wouldn't even have to ask twice

About your artistic capability that you were bound to possess

But then, my unborn princess

I recognized error in thought process......

I never considered the prospect of you being male

My young Kal-El..

"Heir to my throne and presider over reign

Bearer of legacy and carrier of name

Towering beacon of charisma and fortitude..

Respected AND Respectful.."

Counterfeit flash forward scenes displayed the sight of you catching your first pigskin pass

Followed by an accomplishing laugh that warmed my heart like a Snuggie

My Princess..

My Young Hero..

I.. I love you

I love you though I was never given chance to hold you within the grip of my arms..

Never gifted opportunity to customize bedside tales for your ears only

Never granted fortune.. of fatherhood..

I shed a pint of tears every night I hear silence in place of your voices..

Poorly made choices interrupted the awaiting, weighted rejoices that would come attached to your arrival..

Your survival.. inhibited by annexed inhibitions

Result of poor nutrition of a relationship craving nourishment

We dropped the gifts that heaven sent and I can only pray God forgives us..

Ironically, your unlived life will outlive us..

My Princess..

My Young Hero..

You already have obtained what we so desperately yearn for..

Significance in time forever

Existing in history without ever making impression in the sands of age or experiencing expiration..

You live without death..

Live on

***FEAUTURE*** Sean Vinson - "Save Chi"

I never knew a luh, luh luh, a love like this..

To tell the truth, I ain't been familiar with a hate like this either

That true love depicted on stained glass in cathedrals

Painted windows showing the untainted sacrifice made by Jesus because His people missed the mark..

Though the deep hate that prompted Yahweh to commission Noah to craft an ark

And spare his family from a wet wrath..

That love felt within a present dad there to witness a son come to recognize his own potential..

But the hate of a son towards an absent father

And adopted a 5 point star as his mentor

All is Well..

Well unless sidewalks blackened by gunpowder

And a forcibly made, now-single-child toddler's tear showers causes you the same sickness I've fallen victim to.

Coughing on words I just cannot seem to utter

To comfort a Queen.. a mother who's lost her young onyx prince to a shot through his heart delivered by a registered Smith and Wesson

That was legally carried due in part to the passing of a 3 dollar bill that never made any sense..

Even in this land of Lincoln, these legislators still wouldn't give a penny for your thoughts.

Only big boy cash accepted

In Illinois coin slots by these NRA "yes men", lobbied by trigger happy millionaires

That are deaf to the screams bellowed through wind pipes, out of wide open jaws by our scared..

In desperate need of repair..

Chicago youth.

Thus far, CPS halls are loudened by 28 less heartbeats..

And they want MORE guns on our streets?

That means more business for Gatling and Leak’s

More commemorative candles

More damsels in distress

More hammers in hands of men not wearing orange vests

More reasons to send my 8 year old cousins to bus stops with teflons on their chests..

Chicago, I guess.. This is a love-hate thing we got going huh?

Because in the night, there’s nothing like the love of just.. being in you

Then you give reason for hate by morning when I flip to NBC news am greeted by the face of Jesse Jackson.

Speaking in rhymes about yet another young voice made mime..

Mute.

Trapped by an invisible box made real

Red cedar and steel

Manufactured just to be submerged in earth 6 feet.

Now.. I speak

Cause they can’t..

Cause you don’t..

Cause they in Springfield won’t respond to your hot-anger.

Your fruitless attempts of displaying "social dissatisfaction" through flash mobs

And I'm not talking the kind that dance.

I mean the kind that ride up to the Gold Coast just to break hands on old folks

Terrorizing 70 year old men..

For what?

Recreation?

Playing "Point him out, Knock him out"

While CPD would rather play

"Point him out, Chalk him out"

And speaking of,

There's more chalk on our cold concrete streets than in our classrooms

Nowadays kids will go to school

Just to have sex with a classmate in the bathrooms.

You think these North Siders don't see us and think "Well look at these Baboons..

Don't even have a moral code

Or an ounce of integrity by which to live.

And yet these teachers want to protest for these kids?

Want to invest in these kids?"

Chicago, I hate the sour taste you leave in my mouth, but I'll tell you what the recipe is for a sweeter savor..

Stop looking for some white collar savior

In disguise, who's probably just another white hooded slaver.

Let's pull OURSELVES up from the status of another species endangered..

Redirect that pain, that anger into motivation for achievement..

I cant speak for us all, but I'M TIRED of bereavements..

Small caskets..

10 year-old girls shaking their.. Tails.

I know this relationship we got ain't exactly that of a fairy tale,

There's plenty to hate..

But there's yet room to save love..

To save lives..

To save Chi.

You...I...Us (Collaboetry: Sean Vinson ft. Yours Truly)

Sean:
There's alot of doubt about You... I... Us
But, what do they REALLY know about You... I... Us?
I...MUST trust that they're speaking out of ignorance.

They just don't know.
They just don't KNOW about You and I.
They just don't KNOW You take Me high.
Higher than than NASA's rockets could ever hope to fly
Higher than the ozone that wraps around our sky
So to them I reply... MIND YOUR BUSINESS!
It seems that they only take interest
In You and I
When they want to crticize the lives
Of You and I

On a scale from 1 to 10
The time I spend with You
Tips the scale at infinity
Sometimes I have to wonder
If You were born of divinity
For You are my angel...
And I'd do anything to make You happy
When you're feeling low from the blows delivered by your Pappy...
You are beautiful to me
With perm OR when you're nappy
You are as sweet as tapi...oca
I hope when You read this
You get all choked up,
Maybe shed a couple tears
With faith on our side,
Maybe we can share a couple years
Together as You... I... Us...

Danitra:
And then when You and I officially become Us
We will be intangible
Our love…
unfathomable
Our relationship…
never fragile
We will be unable to be broken, separated, and defeated
They’ll continue to criticize Us with their cold hearts
Not knowing we will only be reheated
An everlasting flame,
never burning out like the one in the Olympic Games
We… are fire
You…I…Us
Our intertwined spirits being the igniter
Together…
You and I are invincible
They’re throwing daggers
Cursing Us with their tongues
But You…I…Us…
We are a loaded gun
Cocked and ready to run
And They just don’t know…
They just don’t know about You and I
And therefore the world, is not ready… for Us

And THAT'S that piece!

Doo Doo Danitra (3D)

As I approached the finish line

I just knew a solid 2nd place was mine
I probably could have got #1
But something mushy leaked from my bum
How could this happen when I'm about to graduate
Why did I run and hold it in when I knew it was too late
I laughed so much I almost cried
There was no reason not to, it wasn't something I could hide
So I gathered my belonging and walked to leave the meet
But when I was walking it all sank to my feet...

Yup....I pooped on myself in 8th grade.  Hands down most embarrassing moment of my life.
My name went from Danitra Pope to Danitra Poop instantly...

*logs off and hangs head in shame*

J.R.L.

The first one I met was just like me and in him I saw things that other girls ain't see.  We started out as best friends, chillin together all the time, but I had deeper thoughts runnin through my mind.  He walked with me one night even though I was already close to home, I don't know how he was feelin but I wanted to get him alone.  He reached around with a friendly hug, his arms laid close around my hips, then I did what he never expected and kissed him on his beautiful lips.  WOW! was the expression on this boy's face, and then he called me up and asked me out when he got back to his place.  He never knew I liked him, that's something he would've never thought of, but from that moment on he was mine and I was his first love.  Five months or so the first time, but break ups and make ups add up to bout a year.  But we ended on a good note cause we still have a connection whether or not he's here.  Many times I reminisce about the times we spent together, but because of what him and I shared I will love him forever.

My First Time....

Everybody must remember their very first time...
that first intertwine...
that body on body...
mind focused on mind...
that mmmmm.
I definitely remember mine.
See it wasn't that romantically exquisite, intimate, candles lit,
it was me climbing on top taking it slowly, yet swiftly
at the tender age of 13.
Yea....me.
Exposed to sex prematurely I allowed the lust and his touch and his touch and his touch to consume me
Living by the motto "I'm just doin me" but realistically everybody was doin me
Shoot I was every man's best friend
Quick to lend a hand and fast to use my head
That...was me.
But look at me now
Not the sight you'd expect to see
Not pregnant, never burnt, nor infected with AIDs or HIV,
not raped, buried in the ground, prostituting or anything
Ya see cuz me...I'm blessed
All that mess was just a test and thankfully I've passed.
I've relinquished that temptation because I refuse to receive condemnation or damnation
 for satisfying some dude's need for ejaculation
That ain't me no more.
Go head and say it, "Danitra you was a whore"
Because I know that in the bible Hebrews 13:4, it says "God will judge"
And therefore I ain't worried none.
I've repented my sins and ain't relapsing again and for those of you that think I will...think again.

And for those of you out there still "doin you," I ain't mad at you, how could I be?...
It's just that one day I hope you've made it this far, and by the grace of God are proud enough to stand up and say...
Look at me.

Maybe...

Maybe it's not like that
Maybe it grew from a situation years ago that hurt the people that helped him grow
Maybe he really just doesn't know
...But I know, he listens
I know he tries to understand 
but i also know he is stubborn and his thoughts remain in demand
but one has to fall before one can stand
Maybe he just needed to make this one mistake
in order to realize what was truly at stake
Maybe I needed the hurt in order to stand the rain
Maybe I want him for reasons i can't explain 
but maybe he's finally tired of putting us thru pain
Either way whether it be me or her it will not happen again
No more hurt than what ive experienced can or will be inflicted 
Becuz thru the break in my heart that i felt i realized my feelings were restricted
My feelings...for myself
It is a relationship with me and only me that i need in order to succeed
No man, woman, nor object produced by the flesh can stop me in my tracks for
I will continue to proceed...thru the trials, thru the tears, thru the rain, ill fist fight the devil myself but
I WILL REIGN
Maybe a remnant of what was between us still remains
They say it aint over till the fat lady sangs
So maybe...it's not. maybe there's just been a change
Maybe there has been a change in him for i know there's been one in me
And with me not thru me maybe he can truly see...God
The Lord works in mysterious ways and it's crazy how my GOD can divide, in order to help me decide, whether or not that love was truly devine and then bring him back to me for me to pick him up when he feels as tho he's been denied. 
Maybe all this drama has just been to make us stronger so that i can truly have a real man on my side
Maybe he is meant to be mine
Maybe he's not and i should stop tryin
Maybe NOW is the time...
Time for me to make up my mind-
and stop sayin...
maybe

2/5/2010