Lifesaver

Thank God for saving my life. I know I'm not the only one who has questioned their purpose here. I know I'm not the only one who has asked why to answers given and things we cannot change. I've cried for understanding and to be understood...to know why God has kept me so long through what has seemed like hell on earth. Deep down I think we all know why... there's something deep within that drives each of us and terrifies us to think about all at the same time. Our biggest fears tend to be our deepest desires. Typically it's those who do what we're afraid to do that inspire as we believe we're incapable. But there are always things that you can do that someone else can't; know that you are inspirational too...someone looks up to you, but you gotta be here for them to. Once you're gone the memory of you lives on but there's no one here to show them what to do and how to push through. I know I've made it far, moreover I know it's been hard, but I'm still here and it's time to stop sleeping on my dreams and make them reality. I take two steps forward and three steps back so frequently but I'm no longer settling, I'm not giving up, I know I'm still progressing. You can't let go of what you love although it's a struggle to love it, it'll help guide you to where you want to be and you'll be thankful because of it. Be thankful because it's a blessing to be alive...to feel, to heal, to create, to survive...we're power filled people...gifted with choice. Our minds are things that cannot be changed, not even by God himself, he gave us that before he gave us anything else. So decide on something and stop asking why...give yourself a reason to want to live your life, ask and God will supply. I almost didn't make it...to be honest...I wanted to die...but ain't no time like God's timing, patience surmounts pride, you'll get where you want to be. Just appreciate what you have, look forward to where you're going, fight for what u want, LOVE, don't be afraid and don't stop living.

My thoughts...

I hope I get a window seat...then maybe I'll see you in the clouds. Angelic, pure, serene....The definition of love. Your physical pain was minor in comparison to the amount of pain inflicted by the people closest to you...The ones that didn't fully know you...The ones that didn't know love enough to know the need to love one another. I pray they know now...We're family...when my great grandpa died I watched as we screamed at each other and fought the day after. How ridiculous is that? How selfish can we be?...I just hope things change. I'm thankful that you knew I loved you, even if that was from afar. Great Grandma...I love you even if it is from afar. Family...I love you, even if it is from afar...just know that distance is determined by our ability to communicate

Persevere

Lying to yourself 

Spending time that should be saved 

Maintain your focus 

Somethings are just hard

A test of patience and will

but we can do it

You are not alone

Just look around and smile

God is always good 

Transparency

I'm becoming too emotional...

it's okay that I show a little bit of vulnerability but I can't bare it all.  I have to try and convince myself that I don't care at all when really...I do...And I want to. I want to make moments last more than just minutes, more than just hours, more than just months...I want them to be infinite...time suspended.  But no...you have to go, you have to leave, you never stay.  God just didn't write the story that way and I've accepted it.  I accept the fact that my fairy tale may conclude with just I and my king...no Prince Charming and no manifestation of my dreams. But I'm still emotional about it.  I'm unable to say that I don't fantasize or get lost in my mind sometimes where those memories rewind and cause a few tears to fall from my eyes. I don't know what I'm feeling.  But I know there's healing.  There was for them and I know there will be for me.  Right now I just can't see.  Blinded by my emotions just waiting for love to find me...to hold me...to surround me...to be vulnerable with me so that I can bare it all and just be emotionally free

For the Hurt 10-28-12

I'm too strong, I'm too smart, I'm too brave...
When God created me, he built me with the capability to be anything I wanted to be.  He gave me hands so that I could write, fight, and feel.  He gave me feet so that I could walk, pave pathways, and leave footprints.  He gave me a voice so that I could speak...but I never did.  I once let a man dictate my every breath, direct my every step, and dominate my very existence.  He hurt me, abused me, broke me down, then built me up, killed me then resurrected me, cut me then stitched me up, stripped me then clothed me, grew me then mold me...
but I was too strong, too smart, and too brave.
 I knew better than to leave him, than to ever try and deceive him, but that's the same reason I'm here today...because I'm too strong, too smart, and too brave.  I knew better than to leave him and I knew better than to deceive Him....God...He made me for a purpose, not to be worthless, and never to spend time and energy on something that was worth less than the riches I've been blessed with.  I'm rich in His presence and there's nothing any man could claim to bless me with, and there's nothing man can test me with that my God would want me to stress with.  With man it is impossible but not with God for with God all things are possible.  Remember that in the midst of any and every obstacle.  Love yourself and don't expect someone else to do it.  Don't try to fight your Goliaths by yourself when you've got God to help you through it. 
Stay strong...stay smart...and be brave. 
Freedom is God given...man makes you a slave.  Domestic violence is the whip, lack of self and support are the chains.  So rise up and don't be defeated, do not quit, succeed it, when it comes to domestic violence...no pun intended...just beat it.

Blame - 8/4/08

Whose fault is it?  Mine - all the time - mine, mine, mine.
There is always a way 4 my name 2 fill the blank when the question is asked who's to blame?
My mind is in a constant state of pessimism.  Negative insight can be seen in the sight of many when they see the site of me. 
I'm misunderstood.
But- the way people look at me is clearly a correct perception + reflection of me, becuz it is me constantly in a state of lacrimation and me, I, Danitra then take that - meaning their interpretations - or my imagination twists their contemplations in2 fuel 4 my ever flowing frustrations. 
I can't get over myself - in a bad way.
God says I am 4given but my flesh has another say.
Though I'm in this world not of this world the world is fightin 4 me. Tryin 2 damage my mind + corrupt it into thinking faith is not the heavenly key.
I'm hurtin.
This can't be me but everything is God's plan - I'm so happy yet hatin myself so I just don't understand.  But I guess nobody really can.
 All I can say is soon I'll be okay maybe not 2morrow or 2day.  But the lord keeps tellin me the best is yet 2 come so don't throw it away.  Just wait.
Next time I'm asked if I'm okay, I'll just say not yet.
I'm waiting on the day that I can live + not regret. 
And that day is just not here yet... 

16 Haikus for you

What else have I done?

Why are you forgiving me?

I'm done with the past 

You've said this before

Did you not mean it last time?

Do you mean it now?

Am I in the wrong?

I'm just not sure if it's true

only time can tell

You've said many things

I thought I was your best friend

But what am I now?

You up and left me

you threw everything away

I'm just letting you

I don't burn bridges

but we know things need to change

the bridge is just drawn

I've done all I can

I have no more words for you

I'm just loving me

I'll always love you

no matter what was or is

because that is love

I'll keep on praying 

for you, for me...for the world

that's all I can do

God makes things happen

If not he allows them to.

It's all in his hands

Silence is empty

It does not need to be filled

but...it is needed

There's peace in silence 

When your thoughts don't consume you

That's when you've found it

No more I'm sorry

and no more I forgive you

no more need for that

Keep putting God first

Keep growing and keep loving

and I'll do the same

We know what we had

But right now we are nothing 

you're you and I'm me 

You don't have to text

It only confuses me

Love you...be happy 

Magnet

Magnetic Attraction

I feel the pull from different perspectives and am having a difficult time resisting the belief that God suspended time for us last night so that we could feel our future heaven together.  I don't know how many times I've laid with you even when you weren't there, your spirit caressing the lonely traces in my body.  Removing any feeling of tension I have by just allowing me to rest upon you.  You may be the one....magnetic pull....real love

For my Great-Grandpa

My Great-grandpa was a strong man.  Never showed a sign of weakness as he towered above us all, because my great-grandpa was tall.  He had more height than any of us physically and he had more might than the majority of us mentally, and he had a bigger appetite than most of us no matter how skinny he was.  Always tellin us to eat our meals with a piece of bread, my great-grandpa always made sure we were well fed.  Watering the seeds he planted and giving them what they needed while demanding no interference.  Ya see my great-grandpa had a green thumb when it came to gardening.  The fruits he produced provided life, love, and nourishment to the women who produced me.  And to be fortunate enough to feed and have fed off of the things that my great-grandpa grew is a blessing that I pray you have had the chance to experience too.  There was nothing that my great-grandpa couldn't do.  He built things from the ground up with his bare hands,...my great-grandpa was simply a great man.
But...I do believe we're falling short of his greatness, fighting to achieve nothing while fighting each other with obscenities, posting statuses and talking down to one another as though we're not all fam and we don't already have enough enemies. Is this what my great-grandpa gave birth to?  Even if you say it's not, that's how it seems.  Spending so much time bickering we're not catering to our loved ones needs and maybe if we were, the majority of us wouldn't be hurting.  My great-grandpa was a man to celebrate but we only cared when we had time and when we finally found the time we also found it was too late. 
Funerals bring families together from near and from afar.  I would think living in the same proximity does that but I guess that belief is sub-par.  I love my family with all my heart and I definitely love my great-grandpa, but looking around....I don't recognize ya'll.  This ain't what I remember...I'm kinda glad my great-grandpa stopped remembering because this ain't something that I would want him to see.  If he were to remember the seeds he planted he woulda also known that the roots seem to be dying and so with that great-grandpa...Rest in Peace. 

ReminiSCENT

Your scent lingers...stained flesh from you being pressed up against me and the fabrics and fibers of which you laid upon softly tempt me. It's like I'm inhaling ecstasy and every breath I take is recollection of when we rested in each other's presence.  The peace found there is so pleasant, but it doesn't remain.  Lost in the aroma again, you're just a figment of my fantasies that I will never capture.  Time with you is always temporary, and permanency is a dream to me that I doubt will come true...not with you. But maybe with your scent...which while you're gone seems everlasting...filling the void of emptiness and warming my heart, placing a smile on my face.  Smell so rich I can still taste your lips and feel your kiss and you pressed up against me, staining my flesh, atop the fabrics and fibers so soft and comforting.  Just a lingering memory...a lingering scent 

Life

Abuse and accusations from so called accidents
Business, bravery, babies born, and blood shed
Cultures converged collectively as one
Death from all different direction, with dishonesty, and disgrace to be dismissed
Evil things and deeds on this place we call Earth with little ecstatic energy
Families, friends, and fake followers with fiery and furious facades
Good, gracious, and sometimes greedy feelings gather inside of me
Humor, hiding, and hateful messages heard here and there
Intelligent individuals interested in improving imperfection.
Jealousy and joy through a living journey
Kind kinfolk keeping me safe and happy
Love and lies, a long learning experience
Music and media are many masterpieces/massacres made by man
Negative news throughout the nation a natural nuisance to my ears
Overly ostracized from the inside to the outdoors
Proud people full of plenty personality, sometimes too much and it's a pity
Quite a couple quarrels quashed quietly and completely
Relentless, rowdy, and ruthless behavior from wrong doing teens
Sorrow, salvaging, surprises and sports are things found under our sky
Tinkles of turmoil, terror, and treachery throughout this world trapped in a twilight zone
United States we live in under a God to whom we pledge though we are unusually unconcerned for each other we still say we're as one
Very valuable, vivacious, and timid our lives should be varnished and revived
Wishing, wondering, waiting to be welcome in the world
X-rays should be enhanced so we can look into our lives and realize that we may fall and we may rise
Yesterday will never come again so make yours live till today
Zooming through our lives can make us miss our zeniths so we should make them zesty

*written by my 8th grade self*

Poetry

Poetry I find interesting
With it you can express anything
Some emotions may sprout from what people write
Happiness, sadness, joy, and even spite
There are no limitations to what you can say
To hear the things you feel, many people will pay
Music is poetry a thing we all love
For those who know and can see above
Poetry can be very fun
So go out and try to write some.

Arts

Different ways to express feelings and emotions
Through music, acting, singing, drawing, writing, and speaking.
All these things bring happiness, sadness, and many thoughts
Art is a part of all of our lives.
As human beings we are art.
Art is everything.

R. M. S. (For my bestfriend)

Reggie is his real name, I don't call him that though

Maurice is his middle name, that is what he goes by

Silly, strange, and extremely special, that explains
                   Why he acts so stupid

D. R. P.

Danitra is devoted, determined, and distinguishable
Reliable, Respectful, yet rowdy she really is
Positive, proud, and full of pride
Poetically perfect in every way

PLEASE SUPPORT #RT #RT "This is the Dedication Page of my book"

I dedicate this book to myself.
The reason why I chose this dedication was
that I've done a lot for myself.  I've never
turned my back on me and I lived my life.
No one else lived my life for me, made my decisions,
influenced, or wrote this book.  I did it
all, that's why I dedicate this book to me.

I want

The sadness that fills me at the thought of you leaving me is endless. 

Any part of a smile that may have rested upon my lips escapes me. 

My enchantment...how I will forever long for thee. 

Thee flame that burns within your heart is what I yearn to spark again within me. Inside where I'm cold, lonely, and dark, you've illuminated the vacant cavity with life and with love.  

You are more than what you think and you mean more than what you think you do to me.  For real...

...but if my silence is what you want and what you need then 

peace....love....and progression....to you still.

After W.O.R.D....

March 16, 2011

There have been countless times that I've been told "I love you..."
That same amount were lies.
Numerous nights I've been forced to wipe tears from my eyes but I always go back.
I always go back to the hurt...
I always go back to the heartache...
I always go back to the pain...
it pulls me back, I'm attached, like a fixture, like an immovable structure...a monument...
because throughout time the story I tell remains the same.
He loves me, he loves me not, he leaves me now me is all I got, time and time again.
Addicted to this game...think I'm winning but I lose.
But that's what I choose to do...
I place myself in these positions...it's an illness that can't be fixed with prescriptions.
It's an addiction.
Without this false sense of security I find in most men...I shake, I tremble, I can't breathe.
I'm trying to stay with him but it's way passed my time to leave.
I want to be free but... I can't.
I'll never change.
Addicted to the hurt, addicted to the game, I'm addicted to heartache, I'm addicted to pain.

How I'm Feeling...(a haiku)

I'm numb to the world

I can not feel anything

Nope...nothing at all

8/25/14

The things that were once beautiful to me have lost their luster or maybe the beauty i saw was just lust for them.
Desiring satisfactions that were not pure and wanting interactions that were fulfilling only to the temporary state.
But as I sit and look at people more and more...those people I once adored...I see so much more.
It's like a light has illuminated their imperfections...
But it's those flaws that are the most alluring.
The thing us people have in common is in fact the dirt that we're made from...
and dirt....being a part of nature...is one of the purest forms of beauty.

February 11, 2010

I'm sure there have been a lot of love poems written, but all disclosin' an aspect of it that is different.
Most love poems I've read are happy; filled with fascinations, infatuations, and I love this about hers and hims.  But I have yet to read a love poem that contains the arguments, fights, and struggles within.
We all have em and we all go through em and if your love doesn't well shoot I say screw em because there's no foundation.

When building any structure you start from the bottom then make your way to the top, but if you already at the peak then what exactly do you got?

You can't take it any higher and I don't know about you but to me that's boring. Some of the greatest moments in my life have come from overcoming. That is the greatest feeling...
you know they say love conquers all but with nothing to conquer your love is nothing at all.
Oh yeah good times are great but they'll turn bad if you can't recover from a fall.
That's what love is.
It's when it ain't all about he/she makes me feel good about myself, you should already feel good about yourself, and love them for who they are, it shouldn't be about anyone else.
Remove you from the equation and see what you have left.  And if there's nothing then there's nothing put them phony feelings back on the shelf it wasn't love...it ain't love...it is not love....and this...ain't a love poem.

My Prayer 8-28-08

God - I'm waitin -
I know it's coming, but I know it has not reached me yet.
God - I'm tired -
I feel your works being done but I also feel the devil's work workin against you.
God - I'm hurtin -
Physically I'm tired and emotionally I'm drained
I'm in pain
God - I'm sorry
I feel as though I am a disgrace to your name and not worthy of your grace but you forgave
God - I thank you
Though I feel all these sorrows are infinite and never ending I know one day I will not feel this way.
One day I will see I am and always will be more than I am because my life is in your hands and you'll never steer me wrong.
You will make me strong.
But for now I know I'm where I belong.

It's hard to accept
but nevertheless

God - I'm stayin with you every step

9-8-09

It's painful
Not to kno what's going on in the minds of those who surround you
It's awkward
Who should initiate, who should go first, not even knowing if the others are willing 2 participate
But they already are participating in this game.
This challenge, this test of patience.
This silence.

1/22/12

It hurts...

to not know the source of my sorrow

It can be nothing but the devil trying to defeat...

me...

us...

the relationship we're building

the LOVE that we've found in each other

I'm terrified that it will fade

-that it will diminish

-that it will disappear

that is my greatest fear

because I don't see much use in me

but you do...

you have a vision,

you have a plan,

you have more for me than I could ever imagine

I just need to be able to look at myself

my potential

my strengths

my possibilities

and believe that

I can...

Why Not Love?

You distract me in the worst way...it's like I'm getting hit while crossing the street although I've looked both ways knowing which way was right...and unfortunately you're not it.  But the scenery with you is beautiful.  I take the detour delightfully because you excite me...you take a figure eight trip to paint a picture of how much you wanna be to me.  You're so sweet to me.  You very well may be what I need but every fear takes time to overcome, and I'm just taking heed because I don't wanna hurt you by filling your mind with things I can't be.  But know that I could be your everything if I just would, if we lived somewhere where time didn't matter and everything made sense before we even gained our common sense that we weren't supposed to get and only got because we robbed the flower of knowledge....Before we crossed those lines u coulda been mine, and you coulda been mine eternally. But where are we now? Look around.  Think about all of the people that need my love before you decide to settle down.  It's not about me, never will be and never was...Ask me why I love you...it's just because...

To a part of my heart...

With there being an us I didn't see a reason for just I.  I disregarded all feelings I should have possessed for myself and let me die.  Self mutilation led to my destruction. I was unable to feel the pain even as tears fell from my eyes and I was hurting because I refused to look in the mirror and see what scars had been left on me even tho i knew only magic mirrors could show what was inside.  i chose not to spend any time reflecting on the fact that the image of me was beautiful because once I realized that Snow White was the fairest Of them all i just knew that beautiful was something I could never be.  That is what I believed and therefore there was no going back for me.  Mentally I was trained to see myself as nothing physically and thus gave myself freely all the while suffering subconsciously while on the surface there was rising satisfaction in a life I was living lustfully, enjoying my ignorance and neglecting my necessities in order to provide pleasure to ppl at random taking pride in the ecstasies i provided them instantly, confidently stating that anyone could confide in me sexually and my ability to feed the needs of everyone but me i.e. I was thanking everybody and no one had to say please because I loved to do these things and I thought that by doing them that they would make me love me.  But making love is faking cuz nobody even made love to give birth to me, i mean if they did wouldn't it be something that I could still see.  The only things that are made are tangible things and last time I checked I ain't never felt love all over me but best believe I tried. I tried...to love you the best I knew how, and at this point I'm sure you can see that what I knew was nothing.  I thought that I was loving.  I wanted you to have my everything, I wanted to wear that wedding ring, I wanted you to marry me, but I failed us both cuz I expected you to carry me.  I expected you to be strong and know that I was weak, I expected you to know what I was going to say and for me to not have to even speak.  I expected you to say that we can wait and that you'd wait for me eternally but temptation came in and reality set in and I saw that you were just another human being and this love thing was not just something that got passed from person to person sexually even tho I was positive that I loved you and that you did indeed love me.  But because my definition of love was skewed I saw other ppl that deserved loving and that I knew would show me love as I perceived it to be.  I broke us because I was trying to please me and the route that we were headed I was afraid would be saddening and ultimately because I said I loved you not even knowing what love means.  But now...I'm ready because I've identified the only one that's loved me  all the way from the beginning.  He created you and me and gave us everything, all the tools that we'd be needing as we struggled through these lives that we're yet and still treading.  I know what love is now after seeing that He continues to bless me even after the smoking, the drinking, the lying, and the sexing.  Even though I thought I knew everything he taught me thru his word and life lessons that there was still room for bettering that I could not doing anything till I humbled myself and paid attention to the red lettering and what Jesus had said to me.  Darkness does not exist for people that follow me said he and I knew that it was time for me to adjust my lighting and see God shining, growing me and showing me what love is with a why that has no need for defining.  He led me back to you I did not pick the timing.  I was actually minding my own business.  Goin to church, reading, praying, trying to be a better Christian when suddenly I was told to just go and was subsequently asked..,why are you waiting.  So now I'm here, and I'm saying I love you, before I didn't know what it meant but now I do.  And you'll see it without me even needing to say it because my love for Him will always exceed my love for you. And I think he knows that too, I feel like that's the only reason that he's brought me back to you.  Sorry for everything, I know you forgave me but this time I forgive me too cuz I know that God will always love us even though he won't always love what we do, and even more so he doesn't get mad at you for doing the wrong things when the right things you don't know how to...but now that I'm aware and i understand what love is I am being held fully accountable for all that I do.  We can continue to show our friends, families, and the world God's love together but only if you want to...however...regardless of your decision, I will always love me and of course Romel Du'ane Moore II , I will always love you. 

****FEATURE****A Letter From Son to Mother...

I will read your clues in due time... but in the meantime i really need you to give me my space... i also need you to speak to me like a human being when you ask me to do something instead of yelling. maybe ask a friend to speak if you cant u the gumption to actually explain why you are behaving in the way that you are and your direction for my life.

I have seen many things that you haven't. And vice versa. You have to acknowledge that many of these viewpoints have taken hold just like your fears have done for you. For example. your fear of dogs and weed. I was convinced that these things would tear me apart just like they allegedly did you. But when I got to college these fears naturally drifted away as my peers convinced me that they were truly rubbish. You're not going to always like what I do. But you have to accept it or your very presence in my life will be misconstrued and eventually neutralized to your detriment.

I know you care but worry isn't going to help. Instead of threatening you should let me find out the hard way. I need advice rather than a tight gripping hand. If you let the world beat me than you then we can both succeed because success is written into my plans automatically. If what I deem as success goes along the path that you map out then I will comply. If not I will ignore you.

Missed Carriage by: Sean Vinson ***FEATURE***

My Jade..

"A smooth caramel complexion..

Almond eyes, small in size..

Gorgeous smile..

The mind of an intellectual coupled with the passion of an poet inspired.."

This.. was my imagined architecture of your uncompromised structure that was to be in company within 9 months..

I dreamed of the nights when the slow creeking of my bedroom door

Would signal your otherwise silent presence

Maneuvering under the veil of your favorite blanky across the floor in search of refuge from the Boogeyman's reach..

Maybe I did get ahead of myself by falling behind the lines at Walmart

Collecting a full shopping cart for the "Back to School" sale..

I figured I'd get your Crayola half-price,

That way, your classmates wouldn't even have to ask twice

About your artistic capability that you were bound to possess

But then, my unborn princess

I recognized error in thought process......

I never considered the prospect of you being male

My young Kal-El..

"Heir to my throne and presider over reign

Bearer of legacy and carrier of name

Towering beacon of charisma and fortitude..

Respected AND Respectful.."

Counterfeit flash forward scenes displayed the sight of you catching your first pigskin pass

Followed by an accomplishing laugh that warmed my heart like a Snuggie

My Princess..

My Young Hero..

I.. I love you

I love you though I was never given chance to hold you within the grip of my arms..

Never gifted opportunity to customize bedside tales for your ears only

Never granted fortune.. of fatherhood..

I shed a pint of tears every night I hear silence in place of your voices..

Poorly made choices interrupted the awaiting, weighted rejoices that would come attached to your arrival..

Your survival.. inhibited by annexed inhibitions

Result of poor nutrition of a relationship craving nourishment

We dropped the gifts that heaven sent and I can only pray God forgives us..

Ironically, your unlived life will outlive us..

My Princess..

My Young Hero..

You already have obtained what we so desperately yearn for..

Significance in time forever

Existing in history without ever making impression in the sands of age or experiencing expiration..

You live without death..

Live on

***FEAUTURE*** Sean Vinson - "Save Chi"

I never knew a luh, luh luh, a love like this..

To tell the truth, I ain't been familiar with a hate like this either

That true love depicted on stained glass in cathedrals

Painted windows showing the untainted sacrifice made by Jesus because His people missed the mark..

Though the deep hate that prompted Yahweh to commission Noah to craft an ark

And spare his family from a wet wrath..

That love felt within a present dad there to witness a son come to recognize his own potential..

But the hate of a son towards an absent father

And adopted a 5 point star as his mentor

All is Well..

Well unless sidewalks blackened by gunpowder

And a forcibly made, now-single-child toddler's tear showers causes you the same sickness I've fallen victim to.

Coughing on words I just cannot seem to utter

To comfort a Queen.. a mother who's lost her young onyx prince to a shot through his heart delivered by a registered Smith and Wesson

That was legally carried due in part to the passing of a 3 dollar bill that never made any sense..

Even in this land of Lincoln, these legislators still wouldn't give a penny for your thoughts.

Only big boy cash accepted

In Illinois coin slots by these NRA "yes men", lobbied by trigger happy millionaires

That are deaf to the screams bellowed through wind pipes, out of wide open jaws by our scared..

In desperate need of repair..

Chicago youth.

Thus far, CPS halls are loudened by 28 less heartbeats..

And they want MORE guns on our streets?

That means more business for Gatling and Leak’s

More commemorative candles

More damsels in distress

More hammers in hands of men not wearing orange vests

More reasons to send my 8 year old cousins to bus stops with teflons on their chests..

Chicago, I guess.. This is a love-hate thing we got going huh?

Because in the night, there’s nothing like the love of just.. being in you

Then you give reason for hate by morning when I flip to NBC news am greeted by the face of Jesse Jackson.

Speaking in rhymes about yet another young voice made mime..

Mute.

Trapped by an invisible box made real

Red cedar and steel

Manufactured just to be submerged in earth 6 feet.

Now.. I speak

Cause they can’t..

Cause you don’t..

Cause they in Springfield won’t respond to your hot-anger.

Your fruitless attempts of displaying "social dissatisfaction" through flash mobs

And I'm not talking the kind that dance.

I mean the kind that ride up to the Gold Coast just to break hands on old folks

Terrorizing 70 year old men..

For what?

Recreation?

Playing "Point him out, Knock him out"

While CPD would rather play

"Point him out, Chalk him out"

And speaking of,

There's more chalk on our cold concrete streets than in our classrooms

Nowadays kids will go to school

Just to have sex with a classmate in the bathrooms.

You think these North Siders don't see us and think "Well look at these Baboons..

Don't even have a moral code

Or an ounce of integrity by which to live.

And yet these teachers want to protest for these kids?

Want to invest in these kids?"

Chicago, I hate the sour taste you leave in my mouth, but I'll tell you what the recipe is for a sweeter savor..

Stop looking for some white collar savior

In disguise, who's probably just another white hooded slaver.

Let's pull OURSELVES up from the status of another species endangered..

Redirect that pain, that anger into motivation for achievement..

I cant speak for us all, but I'M TIRED of bereavements..

Small caskets..

10 year-old girls shaking their.. Tails.

I know this relationship we got ain't exactly that of a fairy tale,

There's plenty to hate..

But there's yet room to save love..

To save lives..

To save Chi.

You...I...Us (Collaboetry: Sean Vinson ft. Yours Truly)

Sean:
There's alot of doubt about You... I... Us
But, what do they REALLY know about You... I... Us?
I...MUST trust that they're speaking out of ignorance.

They just don't know.
They just don't KNOW about You and I.
They just don't KNOW You take Me high.
Higher than than NASA's rockets could ever hope to fly
Higher than the ozone that wraps around our sky
So to them I reply... MIND YOUR BUSINESS!
It seems that they only take interest
In You and I
When they want to crticize the lives
Of You and I

On a scale from 1 to 10
The time I spend with You
Tips the scale at infinity
Sometimes I have to wonder
If You were born of divinity
For You are my angel...
And I'd do anything to make You happy
When you're feeling low from the blows delivered by your Pappy...
You are beautiful to me
With perm OR when you're nappy
You are as sweet as tapi...oca
I hope when You read this
You get all choked up,
Maybe shed a couple tears
With faith on our side,
Maybe we can share a couple years
Together as You... I... Us...

Danitra:
And then when You and I officially become Us
We will be intangible
Our love…
unfathomable
Our relationship…
never fragile
We will be unable to be broken, separated, and defeated
They’ll continue to criticize Us with their cold hearts
Not knowing we will only be reheated
An everlasting flame,
never burning out like the one in the Olympic Games
We… are fire
You…I…Us
Our intertwined spirits being the igniter
Together…
You and I are invincible
They’re throwing daggers
Cursing Us with their tongues
But You…I…Us…
We are a loaded gun
Cocked and ready to run
And They just don’t know…
They just don’t know about You and I
And therefore the world, is not ready… for Us

And THAT'S that piece!

Doo Doo Danitra (3D)

As I approached the finish line

I just knew a solid 2nd place was mine
I probably could have got #1
But something mushy leaked from my bum
How could this happen when I'm about to graduate
Why did I run and hold it in when I knew it was too late
I laughed so much I almost cried
There was no reason not to, it wasn't something I could hide
So I gathered my belonging and walked to leave the meet
But when I was walking it all sank to my feet...

Yup....I pooped on myself in 8th grade.  Hands down most embarrassing moment of my life.
My name went from Danitra Pope to Danitra Poop instantly...

*logs off and hangs head in shame*

J.R.L.

The first one I met was just like me and in him I saw things that other girls ain't see.  We started out as best friends, chillin together all the time, but I had deeper thoughts runnin through my mind.  He walked with me one night even though I was already close to home, I don't know how he was feelin but I wanted to get him alone.  He reached around with a friendly hug, his arms laid close around my hips, then I did what he never expected and kissed him on his beautiful lips.  WOW! was the expression on this boy's face, and then he called me up and asked me out when he got back to his place.  He never knew I liked him, that's something he would've never thought of, but from that moment on he was mine and I was his first love.  Five months or so the first time, but break ups and make ups add up to bout a year.  But we ended on a good note cause we still have a connection whether or not he's here.  Many times I reminisce about the times we spent together, but because of what him and I shared I will love him forever.

My First Time....

Everybody must remember their very first time...
that first intertwine...
that body on body...
mind focused on mind...
that mmmmm.
I definitely remember mine.
See it wasn't that romantically exquisite, intimate, candles lit,
it was me climbing on top taking it slowly, yet swiftly
at the tender age of 13.
Yea....me.
Exposed to sex prematurely I allowed the lust and his touch and his touch and his touch to consume me
Living by the motto "I'm just doin me" but realistically everybody was doin me
Shoot I was every man's best friend
Quick to lend a hand and fast to use my head
That...was me.
But look at me now
Not the sight you'd expect to see
Not pregnant, never burnt, nor infected with AIDs or HIV,
not raped, buried in the ground, prostituting or anything
Ya see cuz me...I'm blessed
All that mess was just a test and thankfully I've passed.
I've relinquished that temptation because I refuse to receive condemnation or damnation
 for satisfying some dude's need for ejaculation
That ain't me no more.
Go head and say it, "Danitra you was a whore"
Because I know that in the bible Hebrews 13:4, it says "God will judge"
And therefore I ain't worried none.
I've repented my sins and ain't relapsing again and for those of you that think I will...think again.

And for those of you out there still "doin you," I ain't mad at you, how could I be?...
It's just that one day I hope you've made it this far, and by the grace of God are proud enough to stand up and say...
Look at me.

Maybe...

Maybe it's not like that
Maybe it grew from a situation years ago that hurt the people that helped him grow
Maybe he really just doesn't know
...But I know, he listens
I know he tries to understand 
but i also know he is stubborn and his thoughts remain in demand
but one has to fall before one can stand
Maybe he just needed to make this one mistake
in order to realize what was truly at stake
Maybe I needed the hurt in order to stand the rain
Maybe I want him for reasons i can't explain 
but maybe he's finally tired of putting us thru pain
Either way whether it be me or her it will not happen again
No more hurt than what ive experienced can or will be inflicted 
Becuz thru the break in my heart that i felt i realized my feelings were restricted
My feelings...for myself
It is a relationship with me and only me that i need in order to succeed
No man, woman, nor object produced by the flesh can stop me in my tracks for
I will continue to proceed...thru the trials, thru the tears, thru the rain, ill fist fight the devil myself but
I WILL REIGN
Maybe a remnant of what was between us still remains
They say it aint over till the fat lady sangs
So maybe...it's not. maybe there's just been a change
Maybe there has been a change in him for i know there's been one in me
And with me not thru me maybe he can truly see...God
The Lord works in mysterious ways and it's crazy how my GOD can divide, in order to help me decide, whether or not that love was truly devine and then bring him back to me for me to pick him up when he feels as tho he's been denied. 
Maybe all this drama has just been to make us stronger so that i can truly have a real man on my side
Maybe he is meant to be mine
Maybe he's not and i should stop tryin
Maybe NOW is the time...
Time for me to make up my mind-
and stop sayin...
maybe

2/5/2010

(the night of) 9-9-09

My eyes overflow with tears constantly. i'm the diamond in the rough but nobody can seem to dig me out. they give up, and i'm left stuck...drowning in the puddles which my tears have pitter pattered on my pillows. sheltered only by darkness, which isn't a safe place at all. In the dark is where the bad things crawl. the negative thoughts, the pessimism, the anger, the confusion, and the downfall. All because of you. i'm left alone...to fend for myself, to live solely for myself, to love me and nobody else. You've extinguished the flame within me. My heart is ice now. Though it has the capability to melt it also is capable of being broken numerous times. shattering into lots of little pieces but never going back to its original state. i really don't kno what else to say or what i just said. i'm just writing...the only thing that can't steal my joy away, break my heart, or strand me and make me lonely. My outlet to express my emotions which u couldn't handle and what it seems u barely possessed now i'm a mess. The tears stopped flowing, but this pain i feel....this pain, is forever.