Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Living in Denial

We take the moments we have for granted and choose not to grab from them. To take away the things that drew us to them seems like a waste, when if we could place ourselves in the same shoes we were in when we were in those situations... things would be different.  In those places we have the want to remain but hate to admit it in the present day because it reminds us of our flaws, reminds us of our pain, reinforces our reality, the mundane day to day.  We're afraid to challenge ourselves and show our faith.  Afraid to be alone, we're afraid of leaving those we're with because it may make us seem selfish when really you're doing everyone a favor by just being honest.  You insult, place blame, point fingers, and call others out of their name because you're stuck.  You messed up.  You have to live with fact that you chose to eff yourself by denying yourself and lying to yourself about what it is you really wanted and still think about a good chunk of the time.  And it hurts for me to see you feel this way, it hurts that you choose to inflict this pain when cure has been given.  You're free.  But you choose not to be and psychologically place yourself in a box consumed by your thoughts.  I just want you to step out of that.  I can deal with the disgrace and lies you tell people because despite the mask you wear I see the real face.  Underneath the facade I see you about to suffocate, you're literally killing yourself.  You're letting your life waste away...but that's what happens when you let all your tomorrows remind you of your yesterdays, instead of doing what's best for you and living for today.