For the Hurt 10-28-12

I'm too strong, I'm too smart, I'm too brave...
When God created me, he built me with the capability to be anything I wanted to be.  He gave me hands so that I could write, fight, and feel.  He gave me feet so that I could walk, pave pathways, and leave footprints.  He gave me a voice so that I could speak...but I never did.  I once let a man dictate my every breath, direct my every step, and dominate my very existence.  He hurt me, abused me, broke me down, then built me up, killed me then resurrected me, cut me then stitched me up, stripped me then clothed me, grew me then mold me...
but I was too strong, too smart, and too brave.
 I knew better than to leave him, than to ever try and deceive him, but that's the same reason I'm here today...because I'm too strong, too smart, and too brave.  I knew better than to leave him and I knew better than to deceive Him....God...He made me for a purpose, not to be worthless, and never to spend time and energy on something that was worth less than the riches I've been blessed with.  I'm rich in His presence and there's nothing any man could claim to bless me with, and there's nothing man can test me with that my God would want me to stress with.  With man it is impossible but not with God for with God all things are possible.  Remember that in the midst of any and every obstacle.  Love yourself and don't expect someone else to do it.  Don't try to fight your Goliaths by yourself when you've got God to help you through it. 
Stay strong...stay smart...and be brave. 
Freedom is God given...man makes you a slave.  Domestic violence is the whip, lack of self and support are the chains.  So rise up and don't be defeated, do not quit, succeed it, when it comes to domestic violence...no pun intended...just beat it.

Blame - 8/4/08

Whose fault is it?  Mine - all the time - mine, mine, mine.
There is always a way 4 my name 2 fill the blank when the question is asked who's to blame?
My mind is in a constant state of pessimism.  Negative insight can be seen in the sight of many when they see the site of me. 
I'm misunderstood.
But- the way people look at me is clearly a correct perception + reflection of me, becuz it is me constantly in a state of lacrimation and me, I, Danitra then take that - meaning their interpretations - or my imagination twists their contemplations in2 fuel 4 my ever flowing frustrations. 
I can't get over myself - in a bad way.
God says I am 4given but my flesh has another say.
Though I'm in this world not of this world the world is fightin 4 me. Tryin 2 damage my mind + corrupt it into thinking faith is not the heavenly key.
I'm hurtin.
This can't be me but everything is God's plan - I'm so happy yet hatin myself so I just don't understand.  But I guess nobody really can.
 All I can say is soon I'll be okay maybe not 2morrow or 2day.  But the lord keeps tellin me the best is yet 2 come so don't throw it away.  Just wait.
Next time I'm asked if I'm okay, I'll just say not yet.
I'm waiting on the day that I can live + not regret. 
And that day is just not here yet... 

16 Haikus for you

What else have I done?

Why are you forgiving me?

I'm done with the past 

You've said this before

Did you not mean it last time?

Do you mean it now?

Am I in the wrong?

I'm just not sure if it's true

only time can tell

You've said many things

I thought I was your best friend

But what am I now?

You up and left me

you threw everything away

I'm just letting you

I don't burn bridges

but we know things need to change

the bridge is just drawn

I've done all I can

I have no more words for you

I'm just loving me

I'll always love you

no matter what was or is

because that is love

I'll keep on praying 

for you, for me...for the world

that's all I can do

God makes things happen

If not he allows them to.

It's all in his hands

Silence is empty

It does not need to be filled

but...it is needed

There's peace in silence 

When your thoughts don't consume you

That's when you've found it

No more I'm sorry

and no more I forgive you

no more need for that

Keep putting God first

Keep growing and keep loving

and I'll do the same

We know what we had

But right now we are nothing 

you're you and I'm me 

You don't have to text

It only confuses me

Love you...be happy 

Magnet

Magnetic Attraction

I feel the pull from different perspectives and am having a difficult time resisting the belief that God suspended time for us last night so that we could feel our future heaven together.  I don't know how many times I've laid with you even when you weren't there, your spirit caressing the lonely traces in my body.  Removing any feeling of tension I have by just allowing me to rest upon you.  You may be the one....magnetic pull....real love

For my Great-Grandpa

My Great-grandpa was a strong man.  Never showed a sign of weakness as he towered above us all, because my great-grandpa was tall.  He had more height than any of us physically and he had more might than the majority of us mentally, and he had a bigger appetite than most of us no matter how skinny he was.  Always tellin us to eat our meals with a piece of bread, my great-grandpa always made sure we were well fed.  Watering the seeds he planted and giving them what they needed while demanding no interference.  Ya see my great-grandpa had a green thumb when it came to gardening.  The fruits he produced provided life, love, and nourishment to the women who produced me.  And to be fortunate enough to feed and have fed off of the things that my great-grandpa grew is a blessing that I pray you have had the chance to experience too.  There was nothing that my great-grandpa couldn't do.  He built things from the ground up with his bare hands,...my great-grandpa was simply a great man.
But...I do believe we're falling short of his greatness, fighting to achieve nothing while fighting each other with obscenities, posting statuses and talking down to one another as though we're not all fam and we don't already have enough enemies. Is this what my great-grandpa gave birth to?  Even if you say it's not, that's how it seems.  Spending so much time bickering we're not catering to our loved ones needs and maybe if we were, the majority of us wouldn't be hurting.  My great-grandpa was a man to celebrate but we only cared when we had time and when we finally found the time we also found it was too late. 
Funerals bring families together from near and from afar.  I would think living in the same proximity does that but I guess that belief is sub-par.  I love my family with all my heart and I definitely love my great-grandpa, but looking around....I don't recognize ya'll.  This ain't what I remember...I'm kinda glad my great-grandpa stopped remembering because this ain't something that I would want him to see.  If he were to remember the seeds he planted he woulda also known that the roots seem to be dying and so with that great-grandpa...Rest in Peace.