Saturday, July 11, 2015

I just be writin.....

Chapter 1
I was in the fifth grade when I realized I was different. I was able to look at things and recognize what bothered me about people. If my vocabulary were more extensive at that age, words and phrases like materialistic, self-centered, ignorant, and misguided would have ran through my mind. But instead words like stupid and hoes filled my mouth.
Ignorance and intelligence are birthed at an early age, sometimes simultaneously.

The Cost of Education
We spend a lot of our time on this earth not knowing things. We live in order to seek out and find answers. Where we find those answers however, differ from person to person. It is very easy to worsen your situation by looking for answers in the wrong places. You begin justifying yourself as opposed to seeking justification. We as people come up with a million reasons as to why we do certain things or as to why things are the way that they are. Even though in reality, gaining knowledge and knowing the real reasons behind these things is much more cost efficient.

It's free to educate yourself. But people consistently choose to wrap their minds around the physical cost of education rather than how readily accessible it already is, with or without the money. People allow cost to deter them from being determined. We should be so determined to gain knowledge that we will do whatever it takes to obtain it. Schools are not the only place to learn and I don't think that school is for everybody. However, in order to succeed in the way that society defines, a school education necessary. Now, that doesn't mean that you can't be successful without school. You can change the world without ever going to school.

The things we experience in life and the situations we're placed in teach lessons, lessons that can't be taught in school. I see myself as intelligent not because I got good grades in school and not because I have a degree, but because I've learned from my mistakes and have grown as a person. With knowledge comes growth. It's impossible to learn and there not be growth in some fashion. We get older, we get wiser, and our overall capacity for knowledge is heightened. Nobody can take away your ability to educate yourself. We innately manufacture excuses as to why we do not excel when really there are none valid. Think about it. We're created to interact with each other and our environment. As soon as we're born we respond to our surroundings, we adapt, and we learn. If an infant, fresh out of the womb has the ability to educate his or herself, then what's stopping you?
Don't let society discourage you. Money doesn't matter, otherwise we would have been born with it. You have everything you need to get whatever you need. The only question you must pose is what don't you know, what do you want to know, what do you need to know, and what do you want to do with that knowledge? Do you want to be happy or do you want to be wealthy?


Friday, July 03, 2015

Clarity

Some people really just can't see beyond themselves....
blinded by imperfection despite the fact that they see 20/20...
there's nothing to be mistaken or interpreted incorrectly...
it just is what it is...
nothing more, nothing less,
but never just you....
because that aint how our vision works....
we see others...
others see us....
and we search for our reflection in them...
in the people around us...
in nature....
and in life.
What you find is what you allow yourself to see.
Vision impairment can b corrected...is it always....no?
But it can be.

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

1:35am on a Tuesday

I never know when it's gonna hit me...
Love.
Something I dream about more awake than I do while sleeping even though most believe it's something that they're consciously feeling and seeing...

Love has no physical characteristic, so how can we possibly know what it is,...Love?

You don't decide.
You don't get to choose.
You don't get to pick with love.
You just do it.

Not even knowing what it is....
we must know and remember...

we have the power

and the strength

To Love.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

February 18, 2015 @ work

Painted as weak but close to invincible.
Torn down, beaten, neglected, and abused...
but indestructible.
Strong enough to make others believe
But weak enough to crumble with a single touch
A beautiful flower - now withered,
but still rooted in hopes of rebirth.
Potential defined.
Lost...
Confused...
Denied the opportunity to experience life...
To grow...
To just be...
Some there's no saving....trying to find themselves...
wandering aimlessly...refusing help...ready to give up.
For them it's hard to hope
In them it's hard to believe
But change is unpredictable, always attainable, and infinite in its existence when someone reaches deep within them-self or decides to reach out.
To Believe....

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Past.Present.Future Love

I spend a lot of time thinking about you...
I wonder...
Have the thoughts of you ever escaped my mind?
These thoughts resurface and the feelings I once felt become tangible again.
I smile.
I laugh.
I remember.
And I still love.
Despite forced distances we've managed to keep in touch, our reaches extended equally, though that's never been enough to really feel anything.
We still love.
We still grasp and hold tight to the understanding that us together just seems right.
We want it to be what it was, and what it was was unfinished.
So I wonder....
what will we become?

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Cotton Club Performance 2k12

As you can see we've taken quite a journey through history, and have heard from some famous artists that people see as inspiring.
But while they're doing that, what is it that we're aspiring to be?
Yes "I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman that's me," but what good is that if it's not something the world can see.
We are the generation that has the potential to make change.
The future lies within us and it truly pisses me off to see folks consistently tryna make dollars instead.
Yes Cash Rules Everything Around Me C.R.E.A.M., but this is life not a mug filled with caffeine.
Invest yourself in people cuz when you do it in banks nothing is really that interesting.
Do something more.
Learn something more.
Be something more.
Obama made history but us Kanyes out here doing it everyday and don't need a month will never get mentioning unless we're doin it for real.
Talk is cheap which definitely ain't a good deal; I'll use coupons on a shrink if I wanted that, someone to act like they care how I feel.
We need some repair, some restoration, rejuvenation.
We need everyone to get up and help rebuild this broke down nation.
Through the arts they made a difference back in the renaissance which you've seen; and through the decades when black power was their thing.
But today is a new day.
People are sick, sad, and hungry,
You wanna sit at the grown up table but what are you gonna bring?
The time is now and I'm just here asking how?

How are you gonna do better?  How are you gonna inspire others? How are you gonna be different?

How are YOU gonna be the the change you wanna see?

Saturday, April 11, 2015

To dope...for this.





I'm the type of person that frees criminals because I see the imprisonment taking place in their mental state.
These people can't understand. They can't relate to common sense, they hate the world and fight in their own defense because they do not know true love.
They're not allowed to receive hugs...but they see that other people do.
They get kisses too.
But who wouldn't wanna wipe out the whole world by simply attacking our youth?
It's the lower class people that have parents who believe only white folks can b lethal and also anyone who points out that we are not all equals. That we are all different, we all have a deficit, we can't be equivalent, we're not positive people but we're the answer to this simple mathematical equation.
A negative and a negative equals more negative,...the cycle's repetitive.  So why not support the people that we define in our minds, probably because in our own minds we're held captive with the same strength we have to find freedom.

Simply reading,...but beyond just the letters and symbols and other physical representations.
Using our imaginations but creating the world we want to live in.
Every person, is a prisoner because who you are is within.
#PS #MoretoCome #LovePeaceProgressionLive

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Mirror Work

Sometimes you just have to face the facts.
Admit to yourself that you messed up,
that you let yourself down,
that you can't blame anyone but yourself,
that you made the decision!

But also that you're human...

We all do it.
Own up to it.
You'll be forgiven by those that really love you.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Barricaded

These keys hold freedom in their possession.
They lock in the depressed and are the source of my oppression,
I spend 40 plus hours a week redirecting
and trying to give people hope
in a place that sees no purpose in perpetuating progression
but rather making money off of special kids who need help dealing with life lessons
....these keys are weapons.
Harming to those that hold them and painful to those left behind because when the door to the outside closes it's magnetized, and both sides realize that this barricade exists not only physically but also in their minds.
..mine saying...
how could you?
Make these kids slaves, lock them up like they're caged, call them by patients and problems instead of by their names while the other side in their mind says...
I'm never leaving this place,
I'm tired of seeing the same faces, but I want to know what it's like, I need some space...
is this what my whole life will be like?
Keys open doors.
who is holding the key to yours?
the key to your life...
the keys to your home...???

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Happy Birthday Father =)

Dear Father,
I love you.
When I was younger, I will admit,  I disregarded your existence.  Partly because I didn't want to be hurt is why I did that,  but mainly because I didn't understand. But dad...you are a great man.  As humans,  none of us are perfect.  But as children, which we all are,  we hold expectations of perfection from those who parent us.  It takes a certain level of maturity to love unconditionally,  and that's what my love for you is now.   We know what we've been through but I'm still your daughter and I still love you.   I know feelings are mutual when I say that there's nothin I wouldn't do for you.  I'm glad to be where we are.  I'm happy to have your nose and your freckles and your feet.  I'm happy to be me- and I'm only me because of you.  Thank you...and i thank God for you.   This is long overdue but here's your birthday letter.  I wrote mom a couple when I was younger and you and I were distant but happy birthday pops, hope to see you soon and always, always, always...love you.

Danitra (Neeti)...your baby

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Love is a verb

He's stuck in my head playing video games that control the fate of the characterizations of us in my brain.... Washin my pain making me feel like I ain't goin insane. I'm happy Finally loving me Finally loving He Again =)

Friday, January 16, 2015

Proximity

Love is a desire for the unknown Wanting what you fear Knowing nothing but understanding everything Love is faith. And it seems as though it's brought me to this place of intimidation...A junction. But I turn away. Ignoring the fact that there are only two different paths I can take. There's the path where love gives and there's the path where love takes but those are kinda one in the same which is why I'm thinking in my mind it's best to stay in the middle lane actually not the middle lane but riding on the median trying to find a happy medium between pleasure and pain but I'm leaning towards the easy lane, the one that's right that my drive just kinda shifts towards due to the alignment if you're getting what I'm saying. Understanding that I only believe in one love and that's the love that's most demanding...the one that proceeds to break me down when I'm at my strongest then build me up. The one I don't have to wait on to grow up. The one that helps to grow me when the times are tough. What I need. Well...what I feel like I need and what will no doubt satisfy me. But this is territory unknown and the only time the ground is lit is when we're distant...we'll see what happens when we come close.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Lifesaver

Thank God for saving my life. I know I'm not the only one who has questioned their purpose here. I know I'm not the only one who has asked why to answers given and things we cannot change. I've cried for understanding and to be understood...to know why God has kept me so long through what has seemed like hell on earth. Deep down I think we all know why... there's something deep within that drives each of us and terrifies us to think about all at the same time. Our biggest fears tend to be our deepest desires. Typically it's those who do what we're afraid to do that inspire as we believe we're incapable. But there are always things that you can do that someone else can't; know that you are inspirational too...someone looks up to you, but you gotta be here for them to. Once you're gone the memory of you lives on but there's no one here to show them what to do and how to push through. I know I've made it far, moreover I know it's been hard, but I'm still here and it's time to stop sleeping on my dreams and make them reality. I take two steps forward and three steps back so frequently but I'm no longer settling, I'm not giving up, I know I'm still progressing. You can't let go of what you love although it's a struggle to love it, it'll help guide you to where you want to be and you'll be thankful because of it. Be thankful because it's a blessing to be alive...to feel, to heal, to create, to survive...we're power filled people...gifted with choice. Our minds are things that cannot be changed, not even by God himself, he gave us that before he gave us anything else. So decide on something and stop asking why...give yourself a reason to want to live your life, ask and God will supply. I almost didn't make it...to be honest...I wanted to die...but ain't no time like God's timing, patience surmounts pride, you'll get where you want to be. Just appreciate what you have, look forward to where you're going, fight for what u want, LOVE, don't be afraid and don't stop living.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

My thoughts...

I hope I get a window seat...then maybe I'll see you in the clouds. Angelic, pure, serene....The definition of love. Your physical pain was minor in comparison to the amount of pain inflicted by the people closest to you...The ones that didn't fully know you...The ones that didn't know love enough to know the need to love one another. I pray they know now...We're family...when my great grandpa died I watched as we screamed at each other and fought the day after. How ridiculous is that? How selfish can we be?...I just hope things change. I'm thankful that you knew I loved you, even if that was from afar. Great Grandma...I love you even if it is from afar. Family...I love you, even if it is from afar...just know that distance is determined by our ability to communicate