Magnet

Magnetic Attraction

I feel the pull from different perspectives and am having a difficult time resisting the belief that God suspended time for us last night so that we could feel our future heaven together.  I don't know how many times I've laid with you even when you weren't there, your spirit caressing the lonely traces in my body.  Removing any feeling of tension I have by just allowing me to rest upon you.  You may be the one....magnetic pull....real love

For my Great-Grandpa

My Great-grandpa was a strong man.  Never showed a sign of weakness as he towered above us all, because my great-grandpa was tall.  He had more height than any of us physically and he had more might than the majority of us mentally, and he had a bigger appetite than most of us no matter how skinny he was.  Always tellin us to eat our meals with a piece of bread, my great-grandpa always made sure we were well fed.  Watering the seeds he planted and giving them what they needed while demanding no interference.  Ya see my great-grandpa had a green thumb when it came to gardening.  The fruits he produced provided life, love, and nourishment to the women who produced me.  And to be fortunate enough to feed and have fed off of the things that my great-grandpa grew is a blessing that I pray you have had the chance to experience too.  There was nothing that my great-grandpa couldn't do.  He built things from the ground up with his bare hands,...my great-grandpa was simply a great man.
But...I do believe we're falling short of his greatness, fighting to achieve nothing while fighting each other with obscenities, posting statuses and talking down to one another as though we're not all fam and we don't already have enough enemies. Is this what my great-grandpa gave birth to?  Even if you say it's not, that's how it seems.  Spending so much time bickering we're not catering to our loved ones needs and maybe if we were, the majority of us wouldn't be hurting.  My great-grandpa was a man to celebrate but we only cared when we had time and when we finally found the time we also found it was too late. 
Funerals bring families together from near and from afar.  I would think living in the same proximity does that but I guess that belief is sub-par.  I love my family with all my heart and I definitely love my great-grandpa, but looking around....I don't recognize ya'll.  This ain't what I remember...I'm kinda glad my great-grandpa stopped remembering because this ain't something that I would want him to see.  If he were to remember the seeds he planted he woulda also known that the roots seem to be dying and so with that great-grandpa...Rest in Peace. 

ReminiSCENT

Your scent lingers...stained flesh from you being pressed up against me and the fabrics and fibers of which you laid upon softly tempt me. It's like I'm inhaling ecstasy and every breath I take is recollection of when we rested in each other's presence.  The peace found there is so pleasant, but it doesn't remain.  Lost in the aroma again, you're just a figment of my fantasies that I will never capture.  Time with you is always temporary, and permanency is a dream to me that I doubt will come true...not with you. But maybe with your scent...which while you're gone seems everlasting...filling the void of emptiness and warming my heart, placing a smile on my face.  Smell so rich I can still taste your lips and feel your kiss and you pressed up against me, staining my flesh, atop the fabrics and fibers so soft and comforting.  Just a lingering memory...a lingering scent 

Life

Abuse and accusations from so called accidents
Business, bravery, babies born, and blood shed
Cultures converged collectively as one
Death from all different direction, with dishonesty, and disgrace to be dismissed
Evil things and deeds on this place we call Earth with little ecstatic energy
Families, friends, and fake followers with fiery and furious facades
Good, gracious, and sometimes greedy feelings gather inside of me
Humor, hiding, and hateful messages heard here and there
Intelligent individuals interested in improving imperfection.
Jealousy and joy through a living journey
Kind kinfolk keeping me safe and happy
Love and lies, a long learning experience
Music and media are many masterpieces/massacres made by man
Negative news throughout the nation a natural nuisance to my ears
Overly ostracized from the inside to the outdoors
Proud people full of plenty personality, sometimes too much and it's a pity
Quite a couple quarrels quashed quietly and completely
Relentless, rowdy, and ruthless behavior from wrong doing teens
Sorrow, salvaging, surprises and sports are things found under our sky
Tinkles of turmoil, terror, and treachery throughout this world trapped in a twilight zone
United States we live in under a God to whom we pledge though we are unusually unconcerned for each other we still say we're as one
Very valuable, vivacious, and timid our lives should be varnished and revived
Wishing, wondering, waiting to be welcome in the world
X-rays should be enhanced so we can look into our lives and realize that we may fall and we may rise
Yesterday will never come again so make yours live till today
Zooming through our lives can make us miss our zeniths so we should make them zesty

*written by my 8th grade self*

Poetry

Poetry I find interesting
With it you can express anything
Some emotions may sprout from what people write
Happiness, sadness, joy, and even spite
There are no limitations to what you can say
To hear the things you feel, many people will pay
Music is poetry a thing we all love
For those who know and can see above
Poetry can be very fun
So go out and try to write some.

Arts

Different ways to express feelings and emotions
Through music, acting, singing, drawing, writing, and speaking.
All these things bring happiness, sadness, and many thoughts
Art is a part of all of our lives.
As human beings we are art.
Art is everything.

R. M. S. (For my bestfriend)

Reggie is his real name, I don't call him that though

Maurice is his middle name, that is what he goes by

Silly, strange, and extremely special, that explains
                   Why he acts so stupid

D. R. P.

Danitra is devoted, determined, and distinguishable
Reliable, Respectful, yet rowdy she really is
Positive, proud, and full of pride
Poetically perfect in every way

PLEASE SUPPORT #RT #RT "This is the Dedication Page of my book"

I dedicate this book to myself.
The reason why I chose this dedication was
that I've done a lot for myself.  I've never
turned my back on me and I lived my life.
No one else lived my life for me, made my decisions,
influenced, or wrote this book.  I did it
all, that's why I dedicate this book to me.

I want

The sadness that fills me at the thought of you leaving me is endless. 

Any part of a smile that may have rested upon my lips escapes me. 

My enchantment...how I will forever long for thee. 

Thee flame that burns within your heart is what I yearn to spark again within me. Inside where I'm cold, lonely, and dark, you've illuminated the vacant cavity with life and with love.  

You are more than what you think and you mean more than what you think you do to me.  For real...

...but if my silence is what you want and what you need then 

peace....love....and progression....to you still.

After W.O.R.D....

March 16, 2011

There have been countless times that I've been told "I love you..."
That same amount were lies.
Numerous nights I've been forced to wipe tears from my eyes but I always go back.
I always go back to the hurt...
I always go back to the heartache...
I always go back to the pain...
it pulls me back, I'm attached, like a fixture, like an immovable structure...a monument...
because throughout time the story I tell remains the same.
He loves me, he loves me not, he leaves me now me is all I got, time and time again.
Addicted to this game...think I'm winning but I lose.
But that's what I choose to do...
I place myself in these positions...it's an illness that can't be fixed with prescriptions.
It's an addiction.
Without this false sense of security I find in most men...I shake, I tremble, I can't breathe.
I'm trying to stay with him but it's way passed my time to leave.
I want to be free but... I can't.
I'll never change.
Addicted to the hurt, addicted to the game, I'm addicted to heartache, I'm addicted to pain.

How I'm Feeling...(a haiku)

I'm numb to the world

I can not feel anything

Nope...nothing at all

8/25/14

The things that were once beautiful to me have lost their luster or maybe the beauty i saw was just lust for them.
Desiring satisfactions that were not pure and wanting interactions that were fulfilling only to the temporary state.
But as I sit and look at people more and more...those people I once adored...I see so much more.
It's like a light has illuminated their imperfections...
But it's those flaws that are the most alluring.
The thing us people have in common is in fact the dirt that we're made from...
and dirt....being a part of nature...is one of the purest forms of beauty.

February 11, 2010

I'm sure there have been a lot of love poems written, but all disclosin' an aspect of it that is different.
Most love poems I've read are happy; filled with fascinations, infatuations, and I love this about hers and hims.  But I have yet to read a love poem that contains the arguments, fights, and struggles within.
We all have em and we all go through em and if your love doesn't well shoot I say screw em because there's no foundation.

When building any structure you start from the bottom then make your way to the top, but if you already at the peak then what exactly do you got?

You can't take it any higher and I don't know about you but to me that's boring. Some of the greatest moments in my life have come from overcoming. That is the greatest feeling...
you know they say love conquers all but with nothing to conquer your love is nothing at all.
Oh yeah good times are great but they'll turn bad if you can't recover from a fall.
That's what love is.
It's when it ain't all about he/she makes me feel good about myself, you should already feel good about yourself, and love them for who they are, it shouldn't be about anyone else.
Remove you from the equation and see what you have left.  And if there's nothing then there's nothing put them phony feelings back on the shelf it wasn't love...it ain't love...it is not love....and this...ain't a love poem.

My Prayer 8-28-08

God - I'm waitin -
I know it's coming, but I know it has not reached me yet.
God - I'm tired -
I feel your works being done but I also feel the devil's work workin against you.
God - I'm hurtin -
Physically I'm tired and emotionally I'm drained
I'm in pain
God - I'm sorry
I feel as though I am a disgrace to your name and not worthy of your grace but you forgave
God - I thank you
Though I feel all these sorrows are infinite and never ending I know one day I will not feel this way.
One day I will see I am and always will be more than I am because my life is in your hands and you'll never steer me wrong.
You will make me strong.
But for now I know I'm where I belong.

It's hard to accept
but nevertheless

God - I'm stayin with you every step

9-8-09

It's painful
Not to kno what's going on in the minds of those who surround you
It's awkward
Who should initiate, who should go first, not even knowing if the others are willing 2 participate
But they already are participating in this game.
This challenge, this test of patience.
This silence.

1/22/12

It hurts...

to not know the source of my sorrow

It can be nothing but the devil trying to defeat...

me...

us...

the relationship we're building

the LOVE that we've found in each other

I'm terrified that it will fade

-that it will diminish

-that it will disappear

that is my greatest fear

because I don't see much use in me

but you do...

you have a vision,

you have a plan,

you have more for me than I could ever imagine

I just need to be able to look at myself

my potential

my strengths

my possibilities

and believe that

I can...

Why Not Love?

You distract me in the worst way...it's like I'm getting hit while crossing the street although I've looked both ways knowing which way was right...and unfortunately you're not it.  But the scenery with you is beautiful.  I take the detour delightfully because you excite me...you take a figure eight trip to paint a picture of how much you wanna be to me.  You're so sweet to me.  You very well may be what I need but every fear takes time to overcome, and I'm just taking heed because I don't wanna hurt you by filling your mind with things I can't be.  But know that I could be your everything if I just would, if we lived somewhere where time didn't matter and everything made sense before we even gained our common sense that we weren't supposed to get and only got because we robbed the flower of knowledge....Before we crossed those lines u coulda been mine, and you coulda been mine eternally. But where are we now? Look around.  Think about all of the people that need my love before you decide to settle down.  It's not about me, never will be and never was...Ask me why I love you...it's just because...

To a part of my heart...

With there being an us I didn't see a reason for just I.  I disregarded all feelings I should have possessed for myself and let me die.  Self mutilation led to my destruction. I was unable to feel the pain even as tears fell from my eyes and I was hurting because I refused to look in the mirror and see what scars had been left on me even tho i knew only magic mirrors could show what was inside.  i chose not to spend any time reflecting on the fact that the image of me was beautiful because once I realized that Snow White was the fairest Of them all i just knew that beautiful was something I could never be.  That is what I believed and therefore there was no going back for me.  Mentally I was trained to see myself as nothing physically and thus gave myself freely all the while suffering subconsciously while on the surface there was rising satisfaction in a life I was living lustfully, enjoying my ignorance and neglecting my necessities in order to provide pleasure to ppl at random taking pride in the ecstasies i provided them instantly, confidently stating that anyone could confide in me sexually and my ability to feed the needs of everyone but me i.e. I was thanking everybody and no one had to say please because I loved to do these things and I thought that by doing them that they would make me love me.  But making love is faking cuz nobody even made love to give birth to me, i mean if they did wouldn't it be something that I could still see.  The only things that are made are tangible things and last time I checked I ain't never felt love all over me but best believe I tried. I tried...to love you the best I knew how, and at this point I'm sure you can see that what I knew was nothing.  I thought that I was loving.  I wanted you to have my everything, I wanted to wear that wedding ring, I wanted you to marry me, but I failed us both cuz I expected you to carry me.  I expected you to be strong and know that I was weak, I expected you to know what I was going to say and for me to not have to even speak.  I expected you to say that we can wait and that you'd wait for me eternally but temptation came in and reality set in and I saw that you were just another human being and this love thing was not just something that got passed from person to person sexually even tho I was positive that I loved you and that you did indeed love me.  But because my definition of love was skewed I saw other ppl that deserved loving and that I knew would show me love as I perceived it to be.  I broke us because I was trying to please me and the route that we were headed I was afraid would be saddening and ultimately because I said I loved you not even knowing what love means.  But now...I'm ready because I've identified the only one that's loved me  all the way from the beginning.  He created you and me and gave us everything, all the tools that we'd be needing as we struggled through these lives that we're yet and still treading.  I know what love is now after seeing that He continues to bless me even after the smoking, the drinking, the lying, and the sexing.  Even though I thought I knew everything he taught me thru his word and life lessons that there was still room for bettering that I could not doing anything till I humbled myself and paid attention to the red lettering and what Jesus had said to me.  Darkness does not exist for people that follow me said he and I knew that it was time for me to adjust my lighting and see God shining, growing me and showing me what love is with a why that has no need for defining.  He led me back to you I did not pick the timing.  I was actually minding my own business.  Goin to church, reading, praying, trying to be a better Christian when suddenly I was told to just go and was subsequently asked..,why are you waiting.  So now I'm here, and I'm saying I love you, before I didn't know what it meant but now I do.  And you'll see it without me even needing to say it because my love for Him will always exceed my love for you. And I think he knows that too, I feel like that's the only reason that he's brought me back to you.  Sorry for everything, I know you forgave me but this time I forgive me too cuz I know that God will always love us even though he won't always love what we do, and even more so he doesn't get mad at you for doing the wrong things when the right things you don't know how to...but now that I'm aware and i understand what love is I am being held fully accountable for all that I do.  We can continue to show our friends, families, and the world God's love together but only if you want to...however...regardless of your decision, I will always love me and of course Romel Du'ane Moore II , I will always love you.